Not So Much...

Life can certainly be funny...And then again, sometimes, not so much.

Recent events in my life, and the lives of loved ones, have me contemplating on relationships. Friend to friend, spouse to spouse, parent to child. Time can either nurture and affirm these connections, or erode them to a bare nothingness. Our time here is too important to let even one tragedy break the bonds of any basically loving relationship.

Throughout the years of my marriage, and that would be 23, my husband and I have developed own personal code for marriage. Now, I am perfectly aware that 23 years does not an expert make me. On the other hand, in a society where half of all marriages end in divorce, I know that some of our coping skills have worked wonders. Let me inject here that spousal support and involvement is an enormous part of this personal success.

Our first rule of thumb is to usually use respect when dealing with disagreements. I say usually because I have certainly stooped to some not so wonderful retorts when backed into a corner. I can blatantly tell you that these moments were neither successful or proud... So respect it is. And the funny thing? When I use this "tactic" I usually end up on the receiving end of the very same thing! Amazing! Treat your spouse with respect and love and it comes bouncing right back at you.

And how about a dose of kindness and generosity? There is nothing more freeing then when someone excuses a mistake I have made, and gives me the chance to redeem myself! This kind of trust makes me want to do a better job, not just next time but always. There is nothing that affirms a long term relationship better than being given the room to make mistakes, learn from them, and improve with experience.

Honesty is the best policy. What a cliche! But one thing I cannot abide is deceitfulness. Trust grows when honesty is practiced. There is no single concept that could make a marriage flourish with greater success! Look each other in the eye, hold hands, and experience the delight of honesty!

Lastly, go the extra mile. Do a little something each day that says "I love you"! This can really be a challenge at those times when the road is rough, but that is when it makes a difference. It IS the little blessings in life that can make your day happier! I love nothing better than when my husband pours me a cup of coffee just the way I like it, or takes time out of his busy day off to drive me to work simply because he would like some "alone" time with me. These little gestures make me feel important and lovable, some things that on a daily basis can be pretty hard to come by.

For those of you who know us, I hope you see these things at work in our marriage. We are nothing more or less than sinful mortals, and we do make mistakes. And, yes, we have had terrible, horrible and tragic incidents in our lives together, and you have probably heard us utter a sour word here and there. We have, at times, treated each other with less than loving words and actions. But those things, from experience, do not work for our relationship. When in doubt, be generous, kind, loving, and patient.

Let me just end with this passage from a very reliable source:
Psalm 86:15
But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

What awesome words! There is no greater mentor for any of our relationships then Him!