Life Changes...

I am going to be a grandma! I can't hardly absorb the context of those words! I am still getting used to the fact that my oldest child is a husband, much less a father! Amazing does not even begin to describe how I feel about this newest life change!

Michael (my oldest son, age 19) married Kayla on April 30, 2009. It was a whirlwind wedding day, planned on a wing and a prayer, during a one week military leave. Yet, it was a beautiful day of love, family, and celebration; a day filled with God's love!

We have had about 8 weeks to become accustomed to this newest life change. It has not been difficult to accept because Kayla is a lovely young lady. After nineteen years of praying for a Christian spouse for Michael (and each of my kids in turn) this prayer was answered in a big way! Kayla is the perfect partner for Michael, and the love between them has been apparent since shortly after they first started dating about 2 years ago.

A few days ago the happy newlyweds phoned to tell us the sweet news...Needless to say, it took my breath away. I am afraid to admit that they did not get the response that they had expected. To be honest, I was just plain overwhelmed...So many questions, and even objections came to my mind.

Now I know that this does not sound like a very loving response. The very first thought that crossed my mind? Michael would very likely be in Iraq when this new little life entered the world. Then there was the other side of that coin - that Kayla would, most likely, be giving birth without her husband by her side. My mind added to this bleak picture the fact of their youth and inexperience...and I actually began to feel a little panicky.

But then something happened. I felt a change taking place deep inside. Instead of common sense, the actual miracle of this new little life occurred to me. God quieted the doubts in my head, and put love and peace in my heart. After all, God knew this little life before it was ever formed...That fact just reassures of the rightness of it all!

I was also reminded that these happy faithful newlyweds would be great, kind, loving parents. Already, this little life that has only just begun, is loved, cherished, and greatly anticipated.

Bob and I are going to be grandparents! Wasn't it just yesterday that my kids were toddling around our lives? And now a grandchild! This is a part of God's plan for our life, and we are feeling very blessed!



*****Palms 139:13-14
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

*****Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you
hope and a future."

What the Heck?

It is 3:00 am in the morning, and obviously I can't sleep. The life that Bob and I share has, like most lives, offered any number of tragedies, traumas and blessings. Sometimes, life just becomes plain overwhelming. And that is why I am at the computer at this crazy hour. My brain is going a hundred miles a minute. I am grinding my teeth, and thinking about my husband's upcoming heart procedure....

Bob is the love of my life. His devotion to me is a constant surprise and comfort. We have been married 23 years. Is this possible? Sometimes it seems like yesterday, and sometimes it seems like forever. Either way, the facts are clear. Our oldest son is married, our daughter is on the verge of driving, and our youngest son is officially a teenager. The unavoidable news? Bob and I have become middle-aged. A blessing or a curse? Well, a little bit of both I would say.

On Wednesday, June 24, 2009 Bob is undergoing a heart "procedure" called an ablation. To make a long story short, his heart has been beating in alternating courses of about 200 beats/minute in short spurts, and then back to normal beats of about 80. This usually leaves him tired and sore, and needless to say, scared. Today was the first time I actually ever witnessed this happening, and I can't get it out of my mind. It has made this thing real. And I am not so sure that I was ready to face up to reality. Oh well! I have found that God doles out those doses in perfect measure, so His wisdom says that reality is what I needed, ready or not...

The ablation will destroy the short circuit that Bob's heart has created. Now obviously, this is a simple version of the actual process, from a medically challenged hairstylist. But in any case, as my hubby says, they can call it a "procedure", but it is MY HEART!

Any event like this in my life forces me to see things more clearly. I can't help but ponder the sad and lonely place my life would be without my Bob. Who would I argue with, who would ground me, who would pray for me, who would remind me of my many blessings? He is my best friend, my strength, my sunshine, sometimes my pain in the ass, and a large part of the reason that I get up every morning and broach the day with joy!

I feel pretty confident that everything will go as planned with this procedure. He will be in the best care, with docs that he knows and works with, and they will treat him like the special guy that he is. This knowledge is a comfort.

But if you are reading this I would just ask you to say a quick prayer for God's Grace in our lives this next week. I know that with His special attention, we will be back on the road to "normal" in no time at all...

What the heck, did I really say normal?????? Hmmmm...I'm not even sure that I know what that means....

Playing in the Dirt

So....It is a beautiful day here in Cedar Grove, WI. About 70 degrees, and just a bit of sunshine. There is no better weather to work in my flower gardens.I love to play in the dirt! It just makes me feel good. I love the smell, feel, and look of good rich soil. But mostly I love the nurturing of plants. My garden makes me feel successful!

To be honest, I can't really brag about the beauty of my yard. In fact, sometimes it just looks like a random junk yard due to the large amounts of debris that my youngest son, Christian, leaves laying around...a collection of bikes, tools, and other haphazard clutter. These things look like garbage to me, but to him they are important items. So I respect his mess, because that is just they way I feel about my flowers!

I just got finished an enjoyable workout in the yard. I pulled weeds, cut back shrubs, moved some perennials, and basically neatened things up. My muscles ache, my face is sunburnt, and I am parched. Mostly, though, I am smiling! I am the master of my little gardens, the mover and shaker, the one who makes all the decisions. So when I stumble upon a gardening success, it makes my day! When one of my plants grows, flourishes, and then blooms into astounding beauty it feels like a personal victory!

I am so blessed that God has put me in charge of this little piece of earth I call my yard!

Learning About Love

I am 47. I remember a time when that sounded old. For the most part I don't feel old. But sometimes I just feel worn out, tired from the trials of the world that surrounds me. And it is then that I feel the need for refreshment. Not a drink, or a shopping spree, but being refreshed with love. God's endless unconditional love for me. Without that omnipotent love, life would not be worth living.

I have definitely been feeling empty lately. Life has offered so many changes, traumas, and excitement that my heart has not been able to keep up with my head. Sometimes I let these life adjustments wring me dry. You would think I would know better by now, but to no avail. I still let myself run on empty.

And then I find myself with a friend, at a book discussion, or at work and someone lovingly calls this lack to my attention. Today it was the pastor's message that caught my attention. It was all about love; God's endless supply of love for his people, and how that Amazing love fills us up so we can love others. But here is the catch...
Worldly love is selfish. We love people and things because we need them. Our Heavenly Father teaches us to love people how they need to be loved.

Now really! Does it get any better than that? Why have I been feeling empty? Because my love has become selfish. This is a choice. The everyday junk got in my heart instead of the Miraculous love that should have been there. How did the pastor know that I needed to hear this message today? This is significant for me, life changing. It is a way that I have never thought about love. I can give away all the love in my heart, give that love to others the way that they need to be loved,and my faithful Lord will constantly keep me refreshed and able, if only I come back to Him for refills.

And that, my friends, is incredible!

Inspiration!

Wow! I started out with good intentions to give a routine word workout to my everyday life...I guess I got sidetracked. Wait! I KNOW I got sidetracked. But today I bumped into some unexpected inspiration. Let me fill you in.

Early this afternoon, in the rush of a busy Saturday, I ran into a friend, Joanie, who I hadn't seen in quite a while. Our oldest sons, (Michael-mine, Brandon-hers), attended all their years of school together, were both on prom court, and graduated in the same class. Actually, they even went to preschool together as 4 years olds. Where did all those years go? Needless to say, we have had many an opportunity to chat at different activities throughout the years.

Joanie is one of my surprise inspirations. Brandon is a cancer survivor at the age of 19. It has been a long road for him and his family, and the effects of treatment will be lifelong. He is well, attending college, a contributing member of society, and well loved by his parents!

Joanie is one strong woman. She is positive, faithful, and to all appearances, happy. I never see her without a smile on her face. It is a privilege to know her and chat with her. I am constantly amazed that a woman who has been challenged time and time again just never seems to wear out. Today we compared notes on our sons. Their paths could not have been much different. But they have both had successes and challenges in their lives. Listening to Joanie talk about Brandon really made me see how she has chosen to view their battle against cancer as a blessing. I kid you not. She and her husband Len have risen to the occasion with valor. They have given their son all the tools he needs to be successful in life, no matter what crosses his path. And mostly, they have given him unconditional love. Better yet? He is aware of this blessing! I can see that Joanie has played an important role in Brandon's attitude with this illness encounter, and surely many other life tests. She has inspired me by her joy, courage, and eagerness to find the good in others. I am challenging myself to rise to her example, daily count my blessings, and frequently look for the good in those around me.

Next on my list is my daughter in law, Kayla. She resurrected her blog a few days ago, and it is amazing! I love her ability to express herself with the written word! Today she wrote a few thoughts about her recent wedding to Michael, the son I mentioned above. Her feelings about this joyful day came shining through into my life like a gift! "God's fingerprints" were all over her writing. I am happy that she is my daughter, but mostly I am happy that my son has such a wonderful, talented wife who will, God permitting, be a blessing to him for many years to come. So Kayla was a double inspiration. She passed along a spark to breathe new life into my blog. She also blessed me today with all the raw emotion in her writing, and with that I have also challenged myself to purpopsely be a blessing daily to someone.

So today is a fresh start. I think I can do this! Thank you Joanie and Kayla!