What the Heck?

It is 3:00 am in the morning, and obviously I can't sleep. The life that Bob and I share has, like most lives, offered any number of tragedies, traumas and blessings. Sometimes, life just becomes plain overwhelming. And that is why I am at the computer at this crazy hour. My brain is going a hundred miles a minute. I am grinding my teeth, and thinking about my husband's upcoming heart procedure....

Bob is the love of my life. His devotion to me is a constant surprise and comfort. We have been married 23 years. Is this possible? Sometimes it seems like yesterday, and sometimes it seems like forever. Either way, the facts are clear. Our oldest son is married, our daughter is on the verge of driving, and our youngest son is officially a teenager. The unavoidable news? Bob and I have become middle-aged. A blessing or a curse? Well, a little bit of both I would say.

On Wednesday, June 24, 2009 Bob is undergoing a heart "procedure" called an ablation. To make a long story short, his heart has been beating in alternating courses of about 200 beats/minute in short spurts, and then back to normal beats of about 80. This usually leaves him tired and sore, and needless to say, scared. Today was the first time I actually ever witnessed this happening, and I can't get it out of my mind. It has made this thing real. And I am not so sure that I was ready to face up to reality. Oh well! I have found that God doles out those doses in perfect measure, so His wisdom says that reality is what I needed, ready or not...

The ablation will destroy the short circuit that Bob's heart has created. Now obviously, this is a simple version of the actual process, from a medically challenged hairstylist. But in any case, as my hubby says, they can call it a "procedure", but it is MY HEART!

Any event like this in my life forces me to see things more clearly. I can't help but ponder the sad and lonely place my life would be without my Bob. Who would I argue with, who would ground me, who would pray for me, who would remind me of my many blessings? He is my best friend, my strength, my sunshine, sometimes my pain in the ass, and a large part of the reason that I get up every morning and broach the day with joy!

I feel pretty confident that everything will go as planned with this procedure. He will be in the best care, with docs that he knows and works with, and they will treat him like the special guy that he is. This knowledge is a comfort.

But if you are reading this I would just ask you to say a quick prayer for God's Grace in our lives this next week. I know that with His special attention, we will be back on the road to "normal" in no time at all...

What the heck, did I really say normal?????? Hmmmm...I'm not even sure that I know what that means....