Is this Joy?????

I have come to anticipate hurdles in life...I would guess that I have had more unusual "troubles" than most. In reaction to these events of my past, my heart and soul have been trained to always be on guard, my senses have been honed to expect the unexpected, and my eyes and ears are always on the lookout for anything even mildly remarkable. Somewhere in between all these obligations, I still have to find the time to live...Sound exciting? At times it has been exhilarating! At times my emotions have been pushed to the breaking point. And yet again, there has disappointment and discouragement. I must admit that my talent for sniffing out trouble has sidetracked my anticipation of the good and happy times.

Yesterday my son Michael and his wife Kayla drove home from Fort Riley, Kansas for a seventeen day leave prior to his deployment to Iraq. Excitement? Elation? Anticipation? These words do not even begin to touch on all the emotions that were racing around inside my head! It had been 3 months since they had left. They set out on their journey to Kansas as very young military newlyweds. They were arriving home to Cedar Grove as expectant parents! Both Kayla's family and my family were eagerly awaiting the moment when they would physically step back into our lives...

Let me give you a brief glimpse into that moment from my point of view. I was putting together a pan of lasagna in full expectation of a "welcome home" dinner. I would be the only one home when they arrived. Could this get any better? I would not have to share these first moments of selfish pleasure with anyone. And suddenly they were in my kitchen with hugs, kisses and smiles of happiness! I couldn't get enough of just looking at them, knowing they had made it home safe, and enjoying the visible evidence of the happiness of their love for each other! This is a mom's dream come true!

So we did all the things that newly reunited parents and children have done throughout the ages...We ate home cooked food, and filled the quietness with the chattings of catching up. Happiness! Need I say more?

About an hour later they walked out the door to visit with Kayla's family. Once again I was alone in my quiet home. Suddenly my stomach was twirling and I felt physically ill. I was having a hard time grasping what the problem was...And then the tears started to stream down my face. Honestly, as pitiful as this sounds, I have to admit that I was not prepared for the extra measure of joy that had been poured into my life! My cup WAS overflowing, and my heart did not instantly recognize this sensation! My poor self had been more tuned into the possibility of disaster rather than the anticipation of great joy. An unexpected change of events had caught me by surprise! My careful heart did not know how to react.

I am so blessed! I learned a very beneficial life lesson yesterday. I am going to switch the flow of my "disaster" training and start actively reaching out for the JOY! It is abundant! It is mine! It is all around me! This huge Love is nothing short of a miracle...a gift that God himself had planned for MY life. Just the realization of His grace directed at my life, for me, is overwhelming in an infinte way! God did not grant me this life to just be lived. He wants me to have the full measure of Joy that He long ago planned for my life! My new theme will be to live that joy each and everyday. Even when the hurdles present themselves, I will turn to the Lord to show me His abundant joy.



Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

John 10:10
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Jesus