In Anticipation of Baby Boy Schommer

My heart is beating with hard irregular beats. I am agitated during the day, and not getting good sleep at night. I can't seem to keep my focus on anything. This sounds to me like a dreaded terminal illness. In reality, it is just a case of anxiety and excitement over the birth of my first grandchild.

I can tell already that being a grandma is whole new territory. I am enthusiastic to the point of absurdity. I can't wait to meet this new addition to our family, can't wait to hold him, can't wait to feel the warmth of his little body. This boy is loved with a passion even before his worldly appearance. My expectations are dreamlike!

Now you can also consider the fact that my son, the baby's Daddy, is home on American soil. He has been on deployment in Iraq for six months, and will return to Camp Taji on March 1, 2010 to finish up his year. The contentment of having him home is beyond description! There is much satisfaction in watching my two sons wrestle, or witnessing actual warmth and communication between my soldier-son and my daughter. Sibling harmony is amazing when it actually happens! Not to mention how it warms this mother's heart!

More importantly, I am also taking enormous delight in watching my son and his wife be together. I love to see them touch, smile and even bicker with one another. It brings a normalcy to this situation that gives me great comfort. Young love is a joy to behold, and I am drinking it in like a parched soul.

I am blessed to be the recipient of such exhilaration and satisfaction. My cup overflows. I can hardly wait for the surprises that the future holds! Thank you God! I love you!

How Much Do I Love....?

How much do I love....???? I can finish that sentence in so many ways...How much do I love my husband? Tons. How much do I love my kids? They are my life. How much do I love my work? It's great!

So there. I have answered the easy questions. Ask yourself those same questions, and I would be willing to bet that most of us, under good conditions, would answer in a similar respect. And we should love those things. We have chosen most of the main paths our life has taken. If you don't have positive answers, then maybe it is time for some detailed mental examination of your own feelings, thoughts, and motives and some serious change.

Here is a question that I find a bit more difficult to answer. How much do I love God? On first introspection, I would have to say that He is everything to me. He is my Creator, my Redeemer, the Mover and Shaker of my life. He is my personal spiritual guide. He is the Giver of All Good Things. He is the Door to eternity. He is my Light of the world. He is the great I AM. He is my Shepherd...

Whoa! Wait a minute! I was thinking about how much I love God. But it seems like all my answers point instead to a different query: "How much does God love me?" We are blessed. For God's love for us is unceasing, unchanging, constant. There is no better love, there is no better place to be accepted as you are, than in God's presence.

So back to the question of my love for HIM? I do love him. But really, how can I love him enough? I try to do nice things, I work at raising my children well, I try to love others, I pray daily. But this all sounds so lame, doesn't it? My meager offerings to Him are embarrassing at best, shamefully sinful and half-hearted most of the time. And sometimes, in anger or disappointment, I even forget to honor Him. How much do I love God? The best that I can, and surely, not enough.

So here is some food for thought. While the love I give to Him can never be abundant and generous enough, He loves me enough for both of us. God is the great lover of ALL his children. He loves you too, no matter what. Why else would he have sent his only Son to pay the price for your sins, and mine? Now THAT is great love. It is hard to comprehend, but it is true. Through Him, with Him and in Him,our sin is cleaned and our love is pure.

So with Valentines day right around the corner, I am going to concentrate on how I can pass on the love that God has shared with me. I should be joyful in His love. I know he wants me to share His good news. Just think how a kind word or gesture done in His name can brighten a friends day. Or better yet, why not really rise to the challenge, and brighten the day of someone that is not well-loved by others. That is a true test.

Below are a few of His thoughts on love. Real love. Love that is extraordinary and priceless. Love that gives value to our time here on earth. The challenge for me is to look at Valentine's Day as a unique opportunity to "love one another". I challenge you, also, to put a new spin on the day that celebrates love...





Romans 12:10
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

Ephesians 4:2
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

1 Peter 3:8
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.

Galatians 5:13
You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature ; rather, serve one another in love.

John 13:34
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

Hairstylist....More than just a career?

I love my work. I really do. And I love where I work... "You're Special Hair Salon" Doesn't that just about say it all? I love the drama, the fun, the support of other women, the clients, the creativity, and the service of the work. All in all, I am a satisfied working woman.

Having said that, I must admit that being a hair stylist is something that I have always struggled with as far as the "importance" of the work. I have always felt a desire to make a difference, here and now, in this world. I actually have felt called to do something BIGGER. I have never really been quite sure what that important thing would be, but I have spent some years being sort of passively on the lookout for my life's work. Hmmmm....I am now 48 years old, and you would think that by now I would have found the answer. Or maybe the answer has been right in my very own hands, so to speak...

Well, here is my little piece of enlightenment for the day...I have come, over the years, to view my work as a vocation. And, in fact, all work is a vocation, and has a place in the whole big scheme of things. Each of us, no matter how menial or insignificant our "work" looks to be on the outside, is an essential player in the way the world works.

Here are some thoughts on the work that I currently do. These thoughts are, indeed, proof that I have matured into the the idea that this world is not as black and white as I once thought, and that making a living involves much more than doing a job for money!

My main concern at my job used to be that I could technically do the work correctly. And that is great. It is still a goal that I aim for. And to be honest, over the years, that part has become more reflex and repetition. The cuts and chemical services I do are usually technically great! But now I see, that for some individuals, their time with their stylist is more than a physical change...it is actually a time of relaxation, a time of therapy, a time of renewal. In some cases is may be the only place that that person is treated with respect and care in their day. When I had this bright light moment, it put my work into a different realm. I think that the impact that I can have on the people around me by my daily prayer, my attitude of caring, and just putting forth a listening ear can truly change another's day. And this is where I see my work as more that just giving the "every six week color and cut".

And now I am gonna let you in on the biggest secret....My clients give these same things back to me...A hug, a smile, a word of encouragement, a prayer, their life wisdom...The list goes on and on. I love my clients. They are friends to me in the biggest sense of that word!

My work has become a blessing to me, and hopefully to others. Through God's word this work that I do has become a whole new proposition over the last 29 years. (Wow! 29 years! REALLY? Am I truly that old?) And what can I say? My clients and friends feed my soul with each moment that I get to spend with them.

I find it amazing how every little crevice in my life has purpose. Sometimes that fact is intimidating, but mostly it is reassuring. God WANTS me to take joy in my work! God wants me to use the skills and talents he has given me to bless the lives of others. This plan, the one that I am living, is HIS plan. So is yours. How blessed are we?????



Colossians 3:23-24
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

The Gift of Giving

For many reasons, the season of giving has made me reflect upon my own gifting choices. All the normal questions have popped up: what does the reciever want, what does the reciever need, what can I afford???? We all go through theses decisions when we are in the midst of the gift giving process.

A few years ago, I made the committment to be a hairstylist on Fridays at two local assisted living facilities; Cedar Grove Gardens I, and Belgium Gardens. Please do not make any assumptions as to the generosity of this choice. I want you to know that this is a job. I recieve financial compensation for each head of hair that I do. And yet, some days I feel pretty generous because it is a very physical job that takes a huge reserve of patience and kindness. When I am done with my Fridays at the Gardens, I am exhausted! I have given it my all!

This year part of my gift giving dilemna centered around my elderly friends. This is a difficult choice, as these ladies live in one room, and really don't have the space for or need another thing.

I love these ladies. I love their spunk, wisdom, and, yes, even their sometime disgust at still living here on earth. I really wanted to do something for them that would make a difference in their lives. Tough assignment, when many are broaching or boasting 90 years, more or less.

I decdided to give each of them a fancy discloth that I had knit myself. These dandy little circles are pretty, and many use them as doilies. So I gathered up my wares of many colors and headed for the Gardens.

As I completed each woman's hair, I offered her the choice of one of my humble, and what I thought might be silly, gifts. And much to my surprise, each woman was excited to take her pick. "You made this for ME?" "You made this yourself?" "Oh, how pretty!!"

And from each and every woman, I received an unexpected gift...a hug and a smile!

This process of gift giving started out being about me...what I could give, what I could share, what I thought would be useful, how could I change their day? But, my oh my, I learned a huge lesson at the Gardens this Christmas Eve Day. I gave of myself, and they gave back. I had no idea that something so simple would be an event that brightened my elderly friends hearts, and was returned to me in a bigger and better way! I had been outdone! I felt so blessed It is not often that I have seen the joy of amazement and surprise in the eyes of an adult gift recipient. My heart was and is FULL. And many times that day I felt my eyes brimming with tears of joy.

I can't help but reflect upon the life of my mother who passed away a year ago this December. She, too, lived at Belgium Gardens for the last year of her life. She was a difficult woman as she grew older. She was angry, depressed and childish. She was not fun to be around. She was the butt of many family disappointments and arguments. It has taken me the better part of 2009 to actually miss her. (I am ashamed of this, although it is the truth.) But as this year has gone by, some of the good memories have been revived and the sadness of the later years of her life has begun to fade. Many people gave of themselves to my mom, when my sister and I were struggling with that ability. I am so happy I can return that favor today to my friends at the Gardens.

I truly believe that we have been put here to love one another. That is not always an easy job. But never underestimate the power of a kind word, a hug, or even just a listening ear. I have had the joy of receiving each of these things in a time of need. God loves it when we love each other!

Let me close by saying that the best gift of all is Jesus Christ our saviour. He was born to be the King of kings, and Lord of lords. He came here to die for us, to take our sins. God made flesh. We are a blessed people. Turn to him. He wants you.

Merry Christmas to all! And God bless you everyone!

So Sorry

I have not been a faithful blogger lately. I have been unable to find the inspiration to write about something meaningful. I have felt limp and incapable. And there has been another hurdle. I upset someone dear to me with the my written words. I am still really not quite clear on what upset her so much, but after some serious consideration, and encouragement from like-minded friends, I have decided to continue to share my thoughts on whatever crosses my mind.

So lately I have been thinking about how God uses our weaknesses to His benefit. I am surely a weak woman. I am a sinner, an outlaw to Gods rules. I often disappoint myself, my family and friends. I can only imagine how saddened Christ is by my actions, and/or my failure to act. I am not saying these things so someone can praise my efforts and make me feel better. I am saying them because they are true. As a christian woman, I am fully aware of my shortcomings. And believe me, they are many. But here is the thing....God knows how to take those inadequacies and faults and turn them into tools. He has made and redeemed me, and only he knows me inside and out. He is wise beyond my understanding so I should never underestimate His power and ability.

One of my weaknesses is opening myself up to others. I have developed, through experience, the idea that exposing my innermost feelings makes me a target for hurt and rejection. And I fall prey to that lie often. I don't like to upset or hurt the ones I love, or anyone for that matter. But sometimes doing the right thing does just that. I feel called to share my experiences, and relate them to my Christian life. If this is painful to the reader, then please abstain...

I cannot pretend to be something I am not. I need this space to express my thanks, blessings, questions, and faith. And I pray daily that God will use me in a productive way, the way that He sees fit, to His purpose. I trust that this blog is a part of that job.



John 16:33

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Unexpected Blessings

This past weekend I went on a much dreaded journey. My husband, and two youngest kids accompanied me. It was a journey of much hesitation and doubt. Because of my families encouragement and strength, this thing is accomplished. It is a part of my personal history. I am relieved. I am a very blessed woman. I make this statement in the most serious of manners. God is good. He is faithful and I am continuously amazed at His grace. Even in my unworthiness, God chooses to make me the recipient of many good things.

I am proud and awed by the lives of my teenagers. They are a testament to the fact that life is a joy, a pleasure, a challenge. Noel has charmed even the most difficult personalities into submission. She can take a bad situation and look for the silver lining. She smiles, and my heart melts. But mostly, she just loves me for the mom that I am to her. And that makes me happy. I value her opinion and benefit from her respect. She has pushed me to rely on God, when I have been tempted to rely on things much less dependable.

And then there is Christian... He always has a smile on! He doesn't talk a lot about his faith, but he lives it. He accepts those around him with kindness and joy. He embraces the strengths of others and chooses to emulate them. He strives to take the high road when the choice really matters. I am proud of him, and know that I can always count on my Christian for a hug and a laugh. Let me just add here that he makes the craziest faces!

I delight in my husband. He has made it very clear to anyone who will listen that it makes no difference how I got here. He loves me, and he knows the great blessing that our children are. He is not afraid to voice his love, even when I sometimes find it embarrassing. He inspires me to greater heights. He is my rock, and I know that I can always count on him for support and encouragement.

This weekend may have been a bit scary. I certainly tried to wiggle out of it a few times. And it does take effort to look through the uncomfortable or awkward to see the awesome! It seems pretty clear that God was giving me a much needed reminder that I am constantly surrounded with His love. The times of my life are what He has planned for me!



Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Ch ch ch changes

I have not been feeling very good lately. Physically, I have been struggling with the consequences of a very strong antibiotic that has left my digestive system lacking in the healthy bacteria that facilitates vigorous digestion. Emotionally, I am just tired and drained. Mentally...well, that has always been questionable! But I am sure that my physical and emotional struggles have left the mental capabilities even weaker than normal!

I have discovered that change is not my forte. This is not a new concept. but it has been reinforced in this last year in a huge way due to events beyond my control. Now there is a big admission... I am NOT in control. God has given me many huge reminders recently.

I am a firm believer in indulging in a short term pity party when life presents you with crappy situations. Then pick yourself up, pray to God for the strength you need, and GET ON WITH IT!!!! With regret, I must admit that I have not felt strong enough to follow my own advice. Consequently, I have been wallowing in the sadness and difficulty of change.

A couple of weeks ago, Michael, my oldest son, deployed for Iraq. It still doesn't seem real though I was there to witness his departure. When I hear his voice through the phone line from Kuwait I can convince myself that he is just a few blocks away, home with his wife, where they are snuggling together on the couch. My husband frequently says that denial can be a wonderful tool, but life will eventually catch up with you! His prediction is correct!

Change has been in the air for about a year now, but this has been the biggest adjustment yet. I need to remind myself that my son and his fellow soldiers volunteered for this duty, and are proud to serve! And I am proud beyond reason of him and his desire to help others. But I still don't have to LIKE this situation! Or do I?

I know that God is trying to teach me something. I know that He is banging on that block head of mine, and poking at my heart, to change the way I am experiencing this situation. But (Surprise! Surprise!) I am proving to be extremely stubborn. I just want to flounder in my sadness for a bit longer Lord...

Fortunately for me, He is not allowing that. Life goes on despite my best efforts to avoid change. My daughter Noel is growing daily in her love of the life that God has given her. Her desire to grow closer to her Creator makes me want to sing. And my son Christian is eating everything in sight and growing like a weed. He has been gifted with a mechanical mind that absolutely amazes me...

My load is lightened by all the blessings that surround me daily. I feel the stress burning off my soul like the sun shining through the fog. I trust that Michael is doing the work that God has planned for him to do. This is not the path I would have chosen for him. But God, in His wisdom, has placed him where he needs to be. I am blessed to watch my daughter growing into a faithful woman. I am excited to see what God has planned for Christian. And Kayla, my daughter-in-law, is a constant source of inspiration for me. Her ability to share her husband with us, his parents, brings tears of joy to my eyes. She is truly the Christian partner I prayed he would marry some day.

I need a forceful reminder to trust the changes that are inevitable. God is the Master Planner. All I need to do is enjoy the ride and accept with Grace what he chooses to send my way...

Joel 2:21
Be not afraid, O land; be glad and rejoice. Surely the LORD has done great things.

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.